The Truth in the Detail
by freiheitfuehlen
Summary: Various pieces I wrote for the Comment-Fic-A-Thon over on donna harvey (lj). That's it pretty much! My thoughts on D/H.
1. Chapter 1

The Truth in the Detail

Donna hums softly to the rhythm of the beating of her heart in her chest. The glass of champagne - her third, is almost empty again and she can feel the warmth spreading through her body as it sets the nerve endings in her fingers and toes on fire. Donna knows that she looks stunning tonight in the hunter green Vera Wang dress she could not afford but purchased anyway two days earlier. She can feel the looks she gets on her skin like sunlight on a warm summer day. Like a tan after a long hot summer, she wears them with pride.

If only, Donna muses, she was a little more insecure or a little less certain about her place in this society, her worth within the circle of her friends. If only, Donna sighs, she needed more than she wanted she feels like she could be happier then; living a life in blissful ignorance.

_I need you. _

She wears his words like a string of pearls around her neck, a constant reminder of the person she is not and the person he desperately pretends to be; a cliché of sorts that never really feels right.

His hands on her skin leave marks so deep Donna is not sure they will ever vanish. But his touch is gentle, his finger tips feel hot against the skin of her back and his breath is too close to the side of her neck, too thoroughly imprinted within her to ever feel anything but right.

If only she needed him like he needs her they might be able to make it work.

But she does not need him.

She wants him which is worse. It's a choice, even if most days it feels like a curse.

She wants to turn her head and tell him to back off. Donna wants to tell him that she needs space to breathe, to exist without him in a life that mostly revolves around Harvey. She swallows the last sip of her drink and focuses on the things she needs rather than the things she wants.

Then, just like that, she leads him out of the ballroom. Twenty minutes later while his skilled hands work hastily to remove the dress from her porcelain skin, Donna wishes she could not hear her heart breaking in her chest.

She presses her lips firmly against his to drown out the voices in her head.

If only, she thinks, Harvey wanted her like she wanted him Donna supposes they might be able to make it work.

the end.


	2. Chapter 2

Every You, Every Me

The wind blew softly through the hotel room in Miami, Florida, as the soft beige curtains danced to its rhythm in steady, quiet circles. The heat was starting to roll through the open windows just as the sun was rising from its nightly rest.

His hand lay on the porcelain skin of her waist and her heart lay shattered on the wooden floor, in a pile of what ifs and should ifs and too many regrets to count.

Donna knew who she was and what she wanted herself to be so certainly that she could have told you in several languages and none of those included the word Harvey as a noun, an adjective or a verb. He simply did not exist further than Pearson/Specter. Not anymore.

His hand slipped further underneath the blankets of adultery and engulfed her in a coat of disgust and lust, all at the same time.

"Harvey," Donna breathed warningly. "Please stop."

Her whole body tensed under his sensual touches. Of course, he would not stop, Donna thought. Of course, he would listen to his own heart instead of hers. Of course, he would willingly ignore her heart which was breaking into a million pieces with every kiss he softly placed on her sinful red lips.

"This needs to stop!" Donna demanded while trying to push herself off of the bed.

Harvey disagreed with her stubbornness to deny them what both of their hearts had been longing for for too many years and too many significant others to prolong any further than they already had.

He placed wet kissed on her throat and along her jaw line until he hovered only inches from her lips. Donna could feel his breath against the sensible skin of her chin and she wanted to scream, to yell at him because when he was so close all she could think about was that none of what they were doing felt even the slightest bit wrong, when the truth was so painfully cold on the skin of her ring finger.

She placed one of her hands on his chest and pushed against it to bring some space between them, some air to breath, to let the hunger and passion slip through the cracks of rationality and honesty.

"Why," Harvey breathed, asked, begged huskily.

Donna set up, turned her back to him and put on the top which had been discarded on the floor in last nights hurry to unify that which had never been supposed to be anything different in the first place.

"Because we're married,"

Donna paused while she put on the rest of her close. She picked up her purse and walked towards the door, halted quickly and put her forehead against the side of the door frame. She took a deep breath and while her shoulders started to shake with the pain of finality she spoke,

"To other people!"

When the door closed and Harvey was no longer able to here the sound of her heels in the hallway, he took his phone from the night stand and threw it against the opposite wall. While it shattered to pieces, he could hear his own heart break in his chest as it screamed vehemently to none in particular and to everyone that was willing to listen,

'I am a man of only one wife!'

The end.


	3. Chapter 3

All I Need

_Guess we both know we're in over our heads  
We got nowhere to go and no home that's left  
The water is rising on a river turning red  
It all might be OK or we might be dead_

"I can't do this anymore. It's too much and not nearly enough. I'm in love with you." He pauses just briefly enough to leave Donna with the tiniest bit of hope that they might be okay, that he's not at all sure about what he's doing to her, to himself, to them as a couple.

"And you're in love with somebody else."

Donna wants to say something, to yell at him, to scream from the top of her lungs how much she loves him and wants to marry him but in this cold December night and after everything that has happened at work she doesn't have the courage or the strength to quiet the voices in her head and lie to him, but mostly to herself.

As the door closes behind his retreating figure, she sinks to the floor and lets the tears run freely. They aren't all about Matthew who just left her on her own in a time of need and vulnerability but furthermore they run for the one that didn't get away because he never was hers to begin with.

She isn't in love with Harvey but Donna knows she's isn't far away from being in love with Harvey and it scares the shit out of her because she knows it won't change a damn thing.

She wants to call him and tell him that she can't be working for him anymore, that there are other things in live despite a career she wants to achieve, like having a family and she can't or rather won't have that with him in her life. She wants to scream and throw things at his head to make him see her for what she is and could be.

She doesn't do any of it.

Instead she goes to work the next day and the day after and the day after that just like her heart isn't breaking piece by piece the longer she waits to confront him.

Whenever he smiles at her - after the incident, she can't help but hear the echo of her silver engagement ring colliding with the floor.

She keeps wondering if everything that she will ever be is the woman by Harvey's side without being the woman in his life.


End file.
